Today I struggled to remind myself that I was having fun and that I really do love being Mom. I wouldn't rather be anything else, however, some days we do need to remind ourselves that 'it's all good'. Usually discouragement sets in when things spin out of control. I'm not sure what Evie ate, maybe a rotten bottle she found under a couch or something, but she has terrible diarrhea and a painful little bum rash. She has needed a constant diaper change...the kind you do in a bathtub with warm soapy water to avoid wiping such tender skin. She has been extra irritable and loud. My ears hurt and my nerves are severely damaged.
Poor sweet Evie!
Alice had also needed many diaper changes due to her separate situation.
I had a list of tasks which needed my attention; my first failure of the day was that I did not include on the top of my "To Do List"constant diaper changes. I would have felt successful if that were all I had on my list. The real test of success is if I managed to adjust my list and attitude to accommodate the unexpected changes.
I caught myself saying today that I felt my agenda was too hard and I needed a break. This got me nowhere fast. I was on a downward spiral for a miserable day.
Something happened later in the day that changed things for me. I over heard Blair singing a sweet little tune. Here it is:
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la.
I quickly realized that I had forgotten something I already knew--I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf! The big bad wolf is fear of carrying a heavy load, fear of chaos, feeling overwhelmed and feeling discouraged or feeling unmotivated.
Several weeks ago I was visiting with my sister and she told me a story when she was afraid and nervous during a particular time in her life. She was driving down the road when this same little tune popped into her head. She immediately remembered that our Grandpa Schellenberg used to sing it to us when we were children. He taught us many lessons in life about working hard and keeping our chin up.
I began to sing along with Blair, and before I knew it I was laughing and playing with the children. I was happy to just be doing what they wanted me to do. I also noticed later that I accomplished more from my list of 'things to do' once my attitude changed. Funny Thing, eh?
So why do we have to remind ourselves every day that we are not afraid of the big bad wolf? Maybe it's because we are human! That darn natural man seems to get in the way a lot! The truth is...the more we make good choices the easier it becomes. The more we tell ourselves that we can do it, the more we believe it. I'm thankful for the small and simple things that keep us facing the right direction.
p.s. there was a comment on the Hula Dancer post about the music played in the video. It's called "Baby Mine", Classics Songs For Bedtime, produced by Shadow Mountain Records. Tyler and I have played this for our children at bedtime for a few years now...it's our favorite lullaby collection ever. So sweet, so peaceful. I always look forward to bedtime when this is playing. I just want to rock my babies forever! My sister gave it to us, I think you can get it at Deseret Book.